A dirty little peek into the mind of the opposite sex

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By comparing what women write in public bathrooms versus men.

The messages found in over 100 public bathroom cubicles from men and women were documented, analysed and then finally compared. The following is a unique look at how the sexes privately differ on everything from sex and politics to spelling and pop culture.

romance and affection

Of the 40 times the word love was used...

Men only used it once.

That was:
Alex loves pussy. see evidence

Women love to use the word love

The only example of the word love being used by men, was this example below.


Woman were by far the most prolific users of the word love, using it in total 39 times. It featured in 4% of all the messages left by woman, making it the most popular word used by woman. The word love was used by woman 2x more often than swear words*.

Women used the word love to show affection for people, ideas and even pop culture idols such as Amy Winehouse.

*Words considered swear words were: Fuck, Fuk, Shit, Sh*t, Cunt, Bastard, Dick, Bitch.

romance and affection

Women wrote love notes for 37 different men.

...Not that men would ever be able to see them.

Men wrote 0 love notes for women. see evidence

Women 4 Men

Woman appear to be more willing to express their feelings for the opposite sex on bathroom walls.


Due to mens inability to see these messages, we concluded that women are likely directing the messages at other woman. Romantic sentiment was ascertained by looking for familiar romantic sentence structures such as: ‘Selina 4 Cody’  and key words i.e.:  ‘I love john’. While men did used female names in public bathrooms, it wasn’t for affectionate purposes, but to express their dislike or sexual prowess.

The sex of the names were confirmed using open source data from the United Kingdom census via the website genderchecker.com*. Woman wrote people’s names 111 times however only 37 times was there a romantic sentiment for someone with a male name. Although men wrote names 46 times, not once was there a romantic or affectionate sentiment.

*Genderchecker.com uses a strict approach to deeming the sex of a name. Using data from the 2001 and 2011 UK census, they can cross reference to see if a name (say john) ever appeared as both male and female. If it did (for example the name Alex) it would be deemed neither male or female and only as unisex.

sentiment and tone

Men used aggressive language 4 times more often than women.

...Including two death threats...

...And one threat to:
Fuck your mums bf's dog. see evidence

If these walls could talk - they'd yell

Men were much more likely to use intimidating or aggressive language. 8% of all messages by men were abusive, compared with only 1% by women.


Men and women were called out by first and last names and for a variety of reasons. Even toilet ‘pissers’ were on the radar by pen wielding men. The above example was typical of the abusive messages left by men.

sentiment and tone

7% of all female messages were uplifting statements.

...that's 5 times more often than from men. see evidence

You go girl

Women are not only less aggressive towards each other but are, in fact, more encouraging to their fellow women.


If ever a little unsure of yourself, there is likely a positive message to be found in the loo. There were 74 pieces of advice or quotes in the female bathrooms. A minuscule 14 in the men.


Women used sexually explicit language 12 times.

They used hashtags 8 times.

Men used sexually explicit language 21 times.

And no they didn't use hashtags. see evidence


Excluding illustration, men referred to sex  in 5% of all messages. This included everything from bragging about sexual prowess, to asking for sex or even just this simple message about sex and poo.



1% of all messages by men included a phone number.

Presumably to make new friends. see evidence

Hello - it's a man calling

Men left 4 phone numbers on the bathroom wall. Which made up 1% of all messages by men.


Phone numbers left by males primarily had some sort of explicit behaviour request accompanying them (such as above).

Women left 3 phone numbers. While similar to the 4 by men, due to the comparably larger amount of message left by woman overall, it was accounted for 0.2% of all messages by women.

None of the numbers returned my calls.


46% of all drawings by men were penises.

Their most popular subject. see evidence

Abstract Expressionism

The penis was the most common illustration. Interestingly, the second most common illustration was the love heart, having been drawn 4 times.


Tagging was actually the most common marking in the men’s bathroom, making up 30% of all scrawlings. However, due to tagging commonly considered a signature with no detectable content (due to their abstract nature) they were excluded from the illustration data.


Men were 5 times more likely to draw their own genitals than the genitals of a woman. see evidence

The female genital tract

Men drew the same amount of vaginas as women did. However at only 1 each, males drew penises 5 times more often than they did vaginas.


Incidentally, females also drew penises more often than vaginas, but considering the amount of other illustrations by females, they only made up 0.14% of all female illustrations.



Women's most popular drawing of choice?

The love heart.

Drawing 183 in total. see evidence

Art of affection

For every drawing of a penis found in the male bathroom, women drew 23 love hearts.


85% of illustrations found in the women’s bathrooms were love hearts. The love hearts were commonly used to surround names or to accompany messages. The love heart above looks to accompany a lyric from the London band Babyshambles.


Women only drew penises 1.4% of the time.

...But when they did...

...They drew them longer than men. see evidence

A large canvas

There were 213 examples of illustration in the female bathroom. The below example was a particularly fine example of a penis by a female.


The size of the penis drawing was determined using the following technique:

Each penis illustration was divided into ‘penis’ verses ‘testicle’ ration based on the internal mass of the illustration. This was called the penis to testicle ratio. For mens illustrations it was average split of 60/40 (as in 60 percent of the illustrations ‘mass’ was penis. For the female illustrations it was a 80/20 split meaning females would give a much larger emphasis to the penis verses the testicles, making the penis in female illustrations ‘larger.’



Men referenced politics 10 times.

...Which is 10 more times than they displayed romantic affection. see evidence

Dirty politics

Men used the bathroom wall as a method for expressing their opinion on everything from women to politics.


3% of all messaging in the men’s bathroom was of a public service announcement or political nature. Compared to 0.2% of woman’s messaging.

Walking into a men’s bathroom, you are significantly more likely to see a political statement than a man declaring his affection for a women. The reverse is true in the female bathroom.


Men were more likely to reference religion.

...But not more likely to be positive about religion. see evidence

Hallowed be thy shit

There was 5 references to religion, 4 by men and 1 by woman. Men were primarily more negative with 3 of the 4 messages being negative.


References included anything from religious iconography such as the Star of David to the above argument. While men far out weighed women referencing religion, men were primarily negative with 6 of the 8 messages being of a negative sentiment. The above example counted as 1 positive message for religion despite the surrounding messages.


Expressions of humour occurred equally as often between men and women.

The only time men and women were equal. see evidence

A man and woman walked into a public bathroom

2% of messages from both men and woman was of a humorous sentiment.


A humorous sentiment was ascertained by the sentence structure. The following is the criteria which was we used to allocate the scrawling as a joke:

It takes the form of a story, usually with dialogue, and ends in a punch line. It is in the punch line that the audience becomes aware that the story contains a second, conflicting meaning. This can be done using a pun or other word play such as irony, a logical incompatibility, nonsense or other means.

Remarkably, humour was the only time men and woman had a similar type of message or illustration used equally as often.


internet and popular culture

Women were 12 times more likely to use a popular internet acronym.

YOLO was most popular.

OMG was second. see evidence


Popular internet acronyms (P.I.A.) are acronyms commonly found on social media platforms such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.


Woman out used popular internet acronyms 12 to 0. YOLO was most popular. Followed by OMG. Incidentally hashtags were also much more commonly used by woman.


There were only 13 spelling mistakes overall.

10 by men.

... Although 8 of the 10 were corrected by other men. see evidence

Spelling misteaks

Using the English Oxford dictionary as guidance, 13 spelling mistakes were documented.


This does not include grammatical errors or writing that was too illegible to include. 10 of the mistakes were committed by men. However their fellow man was often eager to correct the error – correcting 8 of the 10 spelling mistakes (as seen above).

The Toilet Book

Maybe coming soon. Get in touch if you would like to help me bring the above findings (and more unpublished) to life in printed form. scott.conrad.kelly@gmail.com